Well I haven't been on here in a while. I mean there are only two people who know me on here (HI SAM AND JOE), and I know them IRL so I guess it doesn't really matter. Just felt like postin something random.
So I was just walking down the street the other day when all of a sudden, this damn homeless guy comes out at me with a switchblade. I yelled at him to fuck off but he just kept coming closer and closer (he was really slow for some reason), so I pulled my broadsword out of its sheath, and assumed my battle stance. But as I was doing so, holy shit, this guy fucking morphs into a damn orc, seven feet tall, four feet wide, and that switchblade turned into a damn axe that was at least as big as Sam's collection of unread manga. So damnit if I didn't call upon the power of Thor and blast myself into the air ~40 feet up. That orc/homeless guy had no idea what just happened, so I took advantage of his state of shock in order to lodge my sword into the back of his left shoulder, and thanks to my momentum, I slid right on down, slicing his whole arm clean off. Boy, if this didn't make him pissed. I nearly got my legs cut off from that low sweep he tried on me. But hey, why worry about that when you've got the thunder god on your side, am I right? So in short, I wound up running up his axe which was apparently too heavy for him to lift with one arm missing, and performing a valiant leap into the air just before I split that fucker's skull right in two.
Now mind you, orc blood is nasty ass shit. It smells for some reason, and when you get enough of it on you, you're gonna start to REEK. I had to shower four times that day, but I'll be damned if it wasn't worth the bragging rights. You ever see a chick's face when you tell her you single handedly slayed a seven foot tall orc? It's priceless.